Five years ago today, I woke up and got to help the love of my life cross over the rainbow bridge. This is Gnosis. I bought her from a guy that I bought my first brand new car from when I was 19 years old. She was 3 going on 4. She had fractured her right front kneecap and they were just letting her rest for 6 months and then they were going to start racing her again. At the time, I had a 2 year old Morgan filly that had what Fear has. Wobblers syndrome. Back in the 80's, the operation at Cornell university was very expensive and extremely experimental and they told me that they might be able to stop more damage from happening but she would never be sound(not rideable). So I had to send her over the rainbow bridge and begged the car salesman to see his horse. He agreed because her trainer was not thrilled with her attitude about racing. I called the place where she was being boarded and the gentleman said to come out but not to be overly excited as this mare was pretty standoffish to humans. He said he would have her in the front paddock. I pulled into the farm and as I approached the front paddock, there was this lovely lady and she whinnied to me and approached the fence, hung her head over the top rail and my shoulder and she was mine. My mentor begged me not to purchase her. Thoroughbreds in her opinion were brainless. I didn't care. I told Peggy to hook up the trailer, I was bringing her home.

When she was 15 years old, we found a lump in between her hind legs. I called the vet out and she did an exam and said that she had a huge tumor attached to her uterus and had swallowed her ovary and had come out between her legs. They called Cornell University and they said "bring her right in and we'll take all your money". My vet told me that she wouldn't have them operate on it if it were her horse. She said that she probably wouldn't live for 6 more months because the cancer usually spread as soon as they opened them up. They didn't give radiation or chemotherapy to horses as it makes the bones brittle. Makes sense right? So I chose not to have the operation. She lived 8 more years and even took me in her first horse show at the age of 20 and won us 2 blues and a reserve champion. Not bad for a 20 year old horse with cancer and a rider that has never had any professional training in her life. I just hop on and ride.

But the time finally came that her poor old body just gave out. It was a very cold and snowy winter and she stopped eating. I called the vet out on the 28th and she did an exam and we finally decided to let her go. I stood by her side the whole time hugging her and scratching her neck and telling her how much I love her. I cried a million tears on this horses neck and am crying now thinking of her. Not a day goes by that I don't think of my friend. After she was gone, I couldn't take seeing her lying there in the snow so I left and my sister and my friends that were there covered her with blankets, took her halter off and cut the hair off her tail because they thought that I would want it. I did. It's in the corner where there's a statue I made that resembles her in ceramics and next to the framed poem that I wrote for her. When my friend Pat went back into the barn, my sister and Pat heard a horse running outside the barn. They went out to look but all our other horses were in the barn. They took it to be her running to heaven. When I slept that night, I had a dream of her running in a field of yellow flowers. The colors were so vivid and it was warm and she was beautiful and young and just running and bucking and rearing and I knew she was home. The strange thing was that my sister had the same dream and called me the next day to tell me about it. Gnosis had a way of talking to us and we believe that this is how she said she was okay over there. No more sickness.

Strangely enough, another great thoroughbred died on this day two years ago. Barbaros and Gnosis are running and playing in those yellow flowers on the other side just waiting for their human friends to join them.

I love you and miss you Gnosis. My Chick-E-Babe.